So, I stopped paying my internet service and I no longer have the internet at home and haven’t had it for a few weeks. I can check my email on my phone, so there’s that but I no longer have the ability to just endlessly click on links. This decision followed my decision to quit Facebook. I still have a Twitter account but it’s private and I don’t interact too much with people on there. The experience of weeding out the technology in my life has been interesting so far. Right now, for instance, I’m writing from a coffee shop and the act of going somewhere “special” to use the internet seems sort of old-fashioned.
The funny thing is that none of these decisions were really “thought out” or programmatic. I just sort of woke up one morning and thought I’m sick of facebook and I don’t want to be on it anymore. Quickly thereafter I cut my internet service at home.
I wish that I could say that I have been writing more (I haven’t) or reading more (nope!). In fact, I probably write more saturated in technology. But I will say that slowly, I’ve found a sense of peace of mind that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Like last week I was sitting in my living room and I just remembered this feeling of peace which felt really wonderful and again old-fashioned. In some sense, I feel younger and the world itself feels slower.
Being off of facebook has me thinking about how much of poetry and the writing life is about self-promotion. I’m not saying that self-promotion is all bad or anything like that. We have such a small audience as poets anyway and we have to somehow get our work out there. The poets who mock self-promotion and publication and all of that are still all over Facebook and Twitter and blogs and all of that stuff. Most of the poets I know self-promote to some extent and when a person willingly cuts oneself off from those lines, one’s audience gets potentially even smaller. But there’s also the problem of overexposure—as my friend said “Did we learn nothing from the New Kids?”
I have some real dreams and goals for this year and the coming years (besides having another healthy baby). I am definitely a New Years resolution type of person. Maybe I’ll write about them soon. My biggest, biggest goal though is to go to the Himalayas to go hiking. I’ve had this goal for a really long time but having a baby and being pregnant and having a job and years without money made it hard. I’m hoping that I can at least in the next few years go though.
At home, I do weird technical tricks to block facebook, but I just end up undoing them. It’s really hard to organize/coordinate anything with out-of-towners without it…as well as a bunch of other things. I don’t know. How much is a good poet supposed to read? I am on vacation and I’ve spent maybe 15 minutes looking at Ashbery’s “Three Poems” and I think I’ve finally admitted to myself that I don’t have whatever voracity for reading I’m supposed to. It’s more fun to be outside and just looking at stuff. I like palm trees. This isn’t an argument for palm trees, I’m actually really conflicted about this.
I think it’s hard when all of your friends are on FB and you are not. They have to make a special effort to send you pictures and organize things outside of that platform. But I suppose if they really want me to be at wherever, they will text or call or email.
How much is a poet supposed to read? Hmmmm…..I wonder that a lot myself. I’ve never been some sort of insane reader who reads everything. I admire those people. I find that there’s a risk in reading too much—at least for me—it can confuse my poetry for whatever reason. I guess I’m reading all the time because of teaching? But I teach a lot of different literature and humanities classes so what I read is quite varied—so I’m think that that reading might influence my poetry more?
I should read more contemporary poetry for sure. Also, I suppose one could read a lot of poetry but only in a shallow way or one could read fewer books but more deeply (perhaps memorizing poems etc, which can be very helpful).
Palm trees are nice! There are quite a few of them in Florida.
I’m trial-running Anti-Social and Concentrate, both apps that block FB (and Twitter/Blogger/YouTube/whatever other sites you want to block) during whatever period you set. So far, working nicely. I can peek in when I am really free to goof off a bit, instead of “between tasks,” i.e. “all fucking day.” xo